I feel like there is a battle going on within me between the healthy and the unhealthy me. It is not like you lose the weight and suddenly you are transformed into a health Guru!

At this stage, the healthy part of me is ahead. And that's all I need it to be. With every day I am learning and consolidating better ways of eating and living. I now always have skinny latte's and I have discovered the joy of cous cous!  

Sometimes, I really hate exercising but I do it just enough and that's all I need to do! I am loving my new wardrobe and I want to marry my new leather jacket. I am learning that I am safe without food. I am learning do deal with life without having to numb myself with food. It ain't all easy, but the alternative is just not an option.

I imagine it is a bit like childbirth in that the entire focus for the 9 months is on the baby and then once it is born, you come out of the hospital with the baby in your arms and you are looking at the rest of your life. I don't have to be brilliant at this all day every day, all I have got to do at the moment is keep that one step ahead and forgive myself for not always getting it right.