Mother of the bride: The Dos and Don’ts

By author photo Jessica Humphries

wedding · 09 May 19

Being a mother of the bride will undoubtedly be one of your life’s greatest milestones. Watching your daughter take this next step in her own life will surely invite a flurry of emotions for you. You know that this is one of her life’s most special days, and you want to be there to make sure that all of her fairy-tale dreams come true.

It brings up feelings of pride and joy, and sometimes of sadness and nostalgia for times passed. She’s not a little girl anymore. You brought her into the world and helped her navigate her way until this point, so it can be hard to know just how to find that beautiful balance of holding on and letting go. You want to be there to hold her hand, but not to epitomise the overbearing mother cliché.

To take on the task with grace, here are some dos and don’ts to be remembered as Muma-mazing and not Mum-zilla!

Do:
– Ask for your daughter’s guidance and opinion on what the mother of the bride should wear on the day.
– Offer her gentle advice when she asks.
– Say yes to her dress. Once she’s found something she’s head over heels for, learn to love it too.
– Remind yourself that times are changing. Not all weddings are as they once were. The bride might not want to throw a bouquet or a traditional cake – and that’s okay.
– Remember that it’s not just your daughter’s wedding – the groom will probably want some input too.
– Take time for yourself during the process. It’s a big and overwhelming time for you too. By remembering to nurture and nourish yourself, you can be most present and available for those around you.
– Enjoy the ride! She’s growing up fast, but this is a new era for your relationship and one to be cherished.

Don’t:
– Forget that your daughter is now a grown up. Treat her like an adult, and resist falling into old habits.
– Let anyone walk all over you – including your daughter. Maintain your boundaries with patience and kindness, and remember that this is a special time for you too.
– Be late to any pre wedding or on-the-day festivities. The mother of the bride is an essential part of the team.
– Say anything negative about your new in-laws.
– Drink too much on the day – this is an occasion to remember, and you never know when your daughter might need you to be on top of your game.
– Steal the show. Maintain your composure and grace. Enjoy being on the sidelines as you enjoy this momentous day.
– Try to make any changes on the day. Everything has been perfected. It’s time to sit back and relax.

Find out more

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